


Something To Believe In

by megsjedi



Category: Smallville, Supernatural
Genre: M/M, NO sticking to the storylines, Smallville/Supernatural crossover, Spoilers? Probably - Freeform, timeline will jump all over the place
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-07 02:44:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3158261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megsjedi/pseuds/megsjedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Kents adopted a second son. The Kents and the Winchesters know each other, and sometimes Sam and Dean spend summertime with the Kents, at least for a while. Sam and Clark's younger brother form a bond based in friendship and shared experience.</p><p>But Sam goes away to college, and vanishes after Jessica's death, along with Dean.</p><p>How can the Kents help the young Winchesters cope?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sympathy for the Devil 

_Many years ago…_

Thirteen old Clark Kent watched two boys and a graying man climb out of the nice Chevy, hopping on his toes a little. One of the boys was dirty blond and the younger boy had brown hair. The younger was also a little chubby, and mimed a punch at his brother when the older boy mussed his hair. John Winchester, and his two sons, Sam and Dean, were here.

The eldest Winchester was already on the porch, talking intensely with Dad. Dad didn’t look happy at all, but he nodded. Once the nod was given, John went back to his sons. Clark was just close enough to hear.

“OK, boys, I’ll be in Metropolis. You’ll stay here with the Kents until I get back. This is a good place, these are great people. You obey Mr. and Mrs. Kent the same way you do me, and don’t fight with their kids. I should be back in a few weeks, maybe a month.”

“Yes sir!” Dean said, like he was talking to a general or something.

“Yes sir.” Sam sounded a lot less certain.

John Winchester went back to the car, pulled two suitcases out of the back, put them on the ground, and then climbed into the driver’s seat and drove away. Dad went and picked up the suitcases.

“Well, boys, at least it’s summer. No school to worry about.” Dad smiled. Sam smiled back, Dean just acted cool. “This is my son Clark, my other son is… somewhere.”

“Nicky’s in our room, Dad, soldering a new motherboard for his computer.” Clark said.

“Ah well, maybe he’ll emerge a little later.” Dad shrugged and went inside.

“Well, Sammy, you’ve found a fellow nerd!” Dean smirked.

“My brother isn’t a nerd, he’s a genius.” Clark jumped to defend Nicky right away. Nicky was his newly adopted younger brother, after all.

Sam shoved Dean. “Don’t be a jerk, Dean.”

“A genius?” Dean asked, very skeptical.

“He builds his computers by hand. Not bad for a nine-year-old, huh?”

“ _Nine?”_ Dean choked.

“ _And_ he’ll be a freshman in high school around the same time as me.” Clark liked boasting about Nicky. He was proud that his new brother was so smart.

“Which room is he in?” Sam asked, excited.

“The attic room, go on up, he’s always happy to meet new people.”

Sam vanished and Dean and Clark had stare-off, of sorts. “The attic room, huh?” Dean asked.

Clark shrugged a little. “I have, my own room, I’m just rooming with Nick for now.”

“What, is he a baby?”

Clark frowned. “He was in a group home when we met him. He’s not used to sleeping in a room alone. It doesn’t hurt anyone.”

Dean just shrugged his shoulders, looking away. Clark knew Dean was embarrassed now for being a dumbass. “Wanna toss a football?” he asked as a peace offering.

Dean smiled.

XXX

Sam knocked on the door jam, since the door was open. “Come in.”

Sam entered the attic room and looked around. Over in the corner, where there was a window letting in a ton of light, sat a boy at a wide table. He was rather small, but he had interesting hair. It was a very dark shade of auburn, and the sun lit it up and made it look like a sunset. In his small hands were a circuit board and a soldering iron.

He glanced up, revealing very, very blue eyes. “Hello. Please put on a diode bracelet and put the clip on the computer case.”

Sam did as requested. The diode bracelet and clip grounded him, siphoning away static electricity, which protected computer components. “I’m Sam Winchester.”

“Nicholas Kent. Call me Nicky.”

Nicky didn’t seem shy at all. “Clark says you’re a genius.”

Snort. “I remember everything I read, it’s just a trick of a genetics. Having an IQ of 197 isn’t a big deal when it comes down to it. It can’t end world hunger or engender peace with all nations. It can’t bring my mom and dad back to life, although I was only a baby when they died, I don’t remember them. Numerical tests are biased anyway.”

“I guess it isn’t a miracle, but it’s still cool. I have to study hard for good grades. Dean doesn’t care about his grades, ever.”

Nick looked up and set aside his board and iron. “I’m being rude. Jonathan and Martha have been putting manners into my head. I never gave a shit about rules or manners until I met Martha. She… she’s awesome. Gentle, and nice… I wanna be a good son, she makes me wanna be better.”

“I don’t remember my mom either,” Sam confided.

They sat in silence, together in their shared experience.

XXX

_Two summers later…_

Clark rushed down the porch steps to meet the well-remembered Chevy Impala, excited that Dean and Sam would be visiting again, more than likely for a month this time. The car door opened…

A tall, lanky teen got out, followed by a second teen with sandy hair. John Winchester didn’t even stop this time, he just rolled out as soon as Dean snagged the bags. “Holy cow! Sam?” Clark blurted. How could this big guy be little Sam?

He nodded awkwardly, brushing brown hair out of his eyes. Dean’s trademark smirk showed itself. “Lookit, Clark! Sammy turned into Sasquatch!”

“Hey, Clark, I can’t borrow Dean’s clothes anymore, he’s too _short.”_ Sam got Dean back, and Clark could only laugh.

“Nick is out exercising Daisy, they’ll be back soon,” Clark said.

“Huh?” Dean asked.

“He’s horseback riding, Dean,” Sam translated.

“He takes four horses for exercise every morning, besides our Daisy, she has to go last. It’s a sweet deal; he gets twenty-five per horse every day.”

“Wonder if I could learn how to ride,” Dean speculated.

“Nick would make Daisy trample you if you tried to cut in on his action.” Clark laughed.

Just then, galloping hooves signaled Nick’s arrival. He was still rather small, but not undersized for his age, the real difference was his hair; he’d grown it longer since that first visit.

 _“Sam?”_ Nick gasped, throwing the reigns to Clark as he half-leaped off the bay mare to embrace his friend. “You got bigger!”

“You did too!” Sam chuckled, hugging him back. The pair broke apart, and it was almost funny, seeing how Sam towered over Nick.

“Naw, I’m still a shorty,” Nick laughed, reaching for Daisy’s reigns. Clark held them back.

“Take Sam inside, I’ll groom Daisy. Just this once.”

Nick gave Clark an exasperated look, then seized Sam’s shirt and led him along, talking a mile a minute.

XXX

“I’ve got a present for you!” Nick said as they entered the attic room. It had been a little bare before; now there were posters for Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Bullet for My Valentine, Nine Inch Nails and My Chemical Romance. A lightweight ten-speed hung in the rafters, and there were fan magazines and technical guides on his shelves along with modern fiction. A work table took up an entire corner.

Nick grabbed a plain cardboard box off the table and handed it to Sam, beaming and bouncing on his toes. Sam opened it, and his mouth fell open.

“It’s the best laptop I’ve ever built!” Nick announced, still bouncing on his toes. “There’s not a chain store in the country that carries a thing that even comes close to this one! The best sound and game cards, ten gigabytes of RAM, a terabyte of storage space, CD/DVD ROM that can copy CDs and DVDs, every web browser you can think of, and my own anti-virus and operating system. This bad boy also has dial-up, broadband, wireless and Ethernet. I built the OS by taking Windows and Linux, gutting both, keeping the features I like, writing my own hex to fill in the blank spaces… Say something!”

“You haven’t given me a chance!” Sam said, still staring at the laptop’s shiny gray casing. “Nicky, this is too much, I can’t…”

“Yes you can,” Nick cut him off, holding up a hand. “Parts are easy to get, I just scavenge what people toss, perfectly good machines thrown away because they’re not this month’s model. The only things bought are the Intel chips and the game and sound cards. You can replace those yourself as time goes on. I’ve even written a manual for it, it’s in the box. I made it for _you_ , Sammy. For school, for research, anything you need it for.”

Sam had to admit to himself, this custom machine would probably be loads of help when it came to digging up lore. “I can’t pass up a perfectly good way to write you e-mail.” Sam grinned. “I’ll just hide it in my bag until we’re long gone and Dad can’t justify turning around to give it back.”

“Great. We can _so_ play Halo, too. When we have the time.” Nick sat on his bed, Sam sat in the computer chair.

“Yeah… don’t know when that will be…” Sam acknowledged.

“You’ll be out there hunting the ghosties, and Clark and I start high school in the fall.”

“But you’re eleven! They’re gonna let you go to high school already?”

“They don’t have much of a choice. I’ve tested out of grade school and Jr. High. Although I’ve been firmly informed by the school board that I _will_ stay for four years, no testing out. It’ll be dull, but I can find other things to do, not just riding and building my beauties.” Nick rolled onto his stomach. “Maybe I should take up cars. Plenty of stuff for me to practice on around here.”

“Good idea,” Sam approved, then launched into tales of what the Winchesters had been doing for the last few years.

XXX

_One year later…_

Sam was the only one spending time with the Kents this time; John and Dean took off together. “Something going on down in Louisiana,” Sam explained to all four Kents. Clark was perplexed.

“But why did they leave you behind?” Clark asked.

“I _asked._ ” Sam replied, sitting at the dining room table while Mom and Dad set out dinner. “Spending quiet time here is pretty great, not to mention that I love you guys as people and friends.”

“We love you too, Sam,” Mom said, squeezing the younger Winchester’s shoulder. “You’ll always have a place and a home here.”

“And that’s a promise.” Dad added.

A whirlwind swept inside and up the stairs before anyone registered it happening. Clark laughed. “You encouraged him about cars, Sam, now he’s spending afternoons re-building an old Buick.”

“At least it’s a good pastime,” Dad said. “He only exercises Daisy now, heads to school with Clark, comes home and tinkers on that car, and works on his computers before bed.”

“AND I keep Clark out of trouble!” The whirlwind swept up to the table. “Sam!”

“Nick.” Sam got up and hugged Clark’s brother. Dean made fun of them, but they were unashamed when it came to warm hugs.

“You wouldn’t _believe_ the trouble Clark can get into now!” Nick laughed, sitting beside Sam, smelling of soap and water, and faintly of grease. “But we’ll tell ya later! Are you still thinking about Stanford?”

The topic of colleges had been flying between Sam and Nick all year. “Stanford!” Mom exclaimed. “How wonderful!”

“What will you major in, son?” Dad asked, after quickly saying grace. Clark and Nick loaded Sam’s plate with his favorites.

“Stanford has a great pre-law program,” Sam smiled.

“Oh! I finished making inquiries, Sam,” Nick said. “Your first few years will definitely be covered by FAFSA and a couple other financial aid programs, but once you take your LSATs the school itself will give you a full free ride to a law degree!”

“You’re so confident of me passing the LSATs easily!”

“I swear a solemn vow that I will eat last year’s gym shoes if you don’t pass with at least a 160!” Nick said proudly. “Clark, you know where they are, hide them until the day he’s given his scores.”

“I shudder to think of how ripe they’ll be by then!” Mom made a face.

“Me, I still plan on Metropolis U.” Nick said. “A few degrees under my belt will make people take me seriously when I break into computer programming and games. The Ivy Leagues are not for me.”

Clark just kind of shrugged uncomfortably, eating some food before saying “I’ll keep good grades. I just don’t know what I want to do yet.”

“Somehow, by then I’ll have stopped your endless mooning over Lana Lang,” Nick said broodingly. Clark blushed heavily.

“Shut it, Nick!” Clark didn’t get why Nick was so against the girl.

“I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. She’s not good enough for you, and one of these days I’ll prove it to.”

“Don’t fight, boys.” Dad settled it right there. That tone said _drop it!_

XXX

Sam wondered if he’d wandered into the Twilight Zone as the Kent family told him the truth about Clark.

“An alien?” he asked weakly.

“Want to see my spaceship? It’s in the garage.”

That sounded so absurd that it had to be true. The Kents were not the type of family that messed with people.

Jonathan said, “Sam, you can tell Dean in a while, but… only if he’ll swear to not tell your dad. I _know_ John Winchester; he’d show up here with all guns loaded and not look at any evidence that proves Clark isn’t some kind of demon.”

“Like any of us would _let_ him shoot Clark, but still…” Nick shrugged. “And it’s not like mere bullets can do any damage anyway. Dad fell out of the loft and he was going to land on the plough, but Clark caught him and took the fall. Not one scratch to show for it.”

“You’re not wrong about Dad,” Sam said slowly.

Nick got up and went to sit with Sam on the loveseat, letting a hand rest on Sam’s knee. “All of these new things Clark has been going through, it scares us too, Sam,” he confided. “I’ve been going out of my mind, trying to keep him from running blindly into danger! OK, he can’t be hurt in a conventional way, but what if people figure out a way? It’s all I can do to make him stop and think!”

“You aren’t my keeper, Nicky,” Clark mumbled.

 _“Someone_ has to be, since you don’t give a damn about your own safety now!” Nick countered.

“It’s been a… trying time,” Martha said. “But we’re getting through as a family.”

“The boys fight, but they do it because they love each other; neither wants to see the other get hurt.” Jonathan said, which made both his sons snort.

“Come on, Sam, you have the extra bed in my room this time.” Nick said, neatly laying claim to Sam and hauling him upstairs.

“What’s the hurry?” Sam asked as Nick shut the door.

“Just getting tired of Clark, idiot thinks he knows how the world works.”

“You’re twelve, Nicky, how much do _you_ know about it?” Sam asked, sitting on the spare bed.

“I got bounced around foster homes and group homes before Mom and Dad adopted me,” Nick said defensively. “I learned a _lot_ about the world during that time, Sam. Life is _different_ , with different rules and lessons are learned _fast._ Always look out for number one. No one will help you except you. Work hard and _earn_ what you’ve got, then fight like hell to keep it. There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch. And don’t care about anyone because they won’t care about you.”

Sam could hardly breathe. One thing he’d had his whole life was, while Dad wasn’t demonstrative in any way, Sam knew that John Winchester _loved_ him and Dean. No matter how much they fought, argued, almost came to blows, Sam _never_ doubted that one constant. Nick had grown up in places that didn’t care.

“It’s getting better,” Nick sighed. “These years with the Kents have fixed a lot of things, but they had to break me of being distrustful and practically pounded the fact that they love me into my head until I truly _believed_ it. Sometimes I can fall back, but I make up for any hurt feelings as fast as I can. I can’t change the past, but I can do great things in my future, huh?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, understanding where Nick was coming from.

“So, that spellbook you lent me that you got from your uncle Bobby, that was informative. I’ve memorized it, of course. And those histories are way cool! Could you ask him if I could read some more grimoires and get some lore about the Hierarchy of Angels, and some more history? I can pay for all the shipping.”

Ah, nice. Nicky knew how to segue.

XXX

_One year later…_

Sam didn’t care that he was on his own at the Kent farm again. Dean pretended he was too old and too cool to hang around Smallville. His loss!

As per usual, at the first of the visit, Nick snagged him for a private talk. At thirteen, the kid finally hit a growth spurt, but only up to five-three. It seemed like Nicky might be right about forever being short.

“I’m going to do it, Nicky. By the end of the summer I’ll be in Palo Alto and going to Stanford. I’ve been accepted, and I’ll tell Dad and Dean after they pick me up here.”

“Excellent,” the thirteen year old smiled.

They were up in the barn, the place Clark called the Fortress of Solitude, lying side-by-side on a rug, watching the sun go by through the open loft doors.

“Dad’s gonna have a cow,” Sam said sourly. “And Dean… Nicky, I don’t know how to break it to Dean. I _know_ he’s gonna be upset.”

“At first, probably.” Nick said, rolling onto his stomach. “But I know how much Dean loves you. He’ll be happy for you. Eventually. Once his juvenile feelings get over being hurt.”

“I have to get Dad to sign the final paperwork. I’m not good at forging signatures.”

Nick’s smile was wide. “In a few month or less, I’ll have the bugs out of the first software I plan to sell. I’ve written up a new, more efficient set of tax software. I’ve already got the patent.”

Sam smiled just as big. “We’re doing it, Nicky. We’re getting close to making some dreams come true!”

“I know, Sammy. But I’ll miss you when you’re out in California. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, maybe Mom and Dad will let Clark and me take a bus to come see you next summer.”

“I’ll miss you too. You’re one of the best friends I have. And you’re all like a second family, too.”

“Maybe not just family when I get older,” Nick murmured.

“What?”

“Don’t freak out, Sam. The future is still unknown, but…” He sat up, and his smile was sweet. “You’re bi, aren’t you?”

“How did you figure _that_ out?” Sam asked, startled.

“I _know_ you, Sam. The signs are there for the people who know how to read them.” Nicky blushed. “Look, I know who I am and I know what I want, but I’ve still got a _lot_ of growing up to do. You’ll probably find someone at Stanford anyway…”

“Would you spit it out?”

“You’re an awesome friend, Sam. Smart, funny, ambitious. I admire all that. _Really_ admire it.”

Sam could read the truth in Nick’s eyes. “You like _me?”_ This beautiful genius liked _him?_

“Don’t sound so surprised. You’re infinitely loveable. I just wanted to tell you so you know. It’ll be a long time before I’ll even be _allowed_ to date, and like I said, some Stanford hottie will snap you up before you turn around twice.”

“And yet you still wanted to let me know…”

“I couldn’t let you go off to a far, far away place without saying that I think you’re smokin’ hot and I wish I was older. But I’m not old enough, and I have no silly plans of begging you to wait for me. You’ve got a life to get on with. Savvy?”

“Savvy.” Sam nodded. But he’d never forget those quiet moments shared with Nick in the loft of the barn, nor would he forget how humble and honored he felt.

XXX

_Early August, same year…_

“He said _what?_ ” Nick yelped, fury erupting in his stomach.

“ _You heard me_.” Sam said, sounding so sad that Nick just wanted to cuddle him. “ _He signed everything, but he wasn’t gracious about it. And Dean is walking around and looking like his dog died._ ”

Nick was already walking downstairs, where Mom and Dad were watching the tube and Clark was doing his homework. “Sam, I’m putting you on speaker.”

Nick clicked the button, in the middle of _“-don’t have to do that!”_

“Too late. Mom, Clark, Dad, John is being an asshole.”

“Language!” Mom snapped.

“What’s wrong, Sam?” Clark asked, walking over to sling an arm around Nick.

“ _It’s Dad. He had a conniption fit when I told him I want to go to college. He filled out the paperwork, but…”_ Sam paused. When he spoke again, his voice was trembling. _“He told me… If I was going, I’d better stay gone.”_

Mom gasped, Dad frowned heavily, and Clark downright bitchfaced. Nick leaned into Clark, taking comfort from his big brother. “We gotta do _something,_ ” he begged, hoping that Mom and Dad would be proactive in this.

“Well, thanks to Nicky’s software sale, we have some money to play with,” Dad said after exchanging a look with Mom. “Sam, we’ll wire you a plane ticket, come here for the rest of the summer. You shouldn’t be stuck there with two walking piles of bad attitude. We’ll help you move to Stanford when the time comes.”

“No argument, Sam,” Martha. “We insist. You’re family, family helps each other.”

Sniff. “ _OK. We’re in South Dakota right now. I can get Dean to give me a ride to Pierre. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”_

“Your ticket will be waiting for you. You just get here safe, son.” Dad said.

“If you need rescuing, just call.” Clark said seriously.

_“Thanks, Clark. Thank you all.”_

XXX

Three days later, Sam was ensconced in his favorite chair in the Kent living room, finally relaxed and happy. It felt odd that this place was more like home than anywhere else, except maybe the Impala.

It was evening, after dinner, fresh air wafting through the screened windows, and all he could do was take a shuddering breath that caught in his throat. A streak crossed the room and Ricky was on him, sitting in his lap, arms wrapped around him. “Your Dad sucks!” He said vehemently, making like a teddy bear that Sam was happy enough to cuddle.

“Language.” Martha sighed.

“I don’t know anymore, Sam. Your father has always been a focused guy, but it’s like he’s cracking up lately.”

“Or maybe he’s pushing you away from that shambles of a life, Sam.” Martha said slowly.

“It makes sense, Sam.” Clark agreed. “Maybe he’s even been waiting for a chance to pick a big fight to send you away.”

“You gotta call Dean.” Nick said urgently. “Tell him it’s not his fault, he always feels so responsible for _everything._ ”

Sam took out his phone and dialed. Voicemail. Dialed. Voicemail. Dialed. This time he left a message. “Dean, look, I… I just want to go to college. Get away from the crazy. I’m not abandoning you, you’re my brother… Me and Dad, we fight, it’s _not_ your fault. OK?”

He trailed off uncertainly and ended the call. “I can never find the right words,” he lamented, cuddling the boy in his lap for comfort.

“John makes it hard to find the right words,” Clark shook his head. “It’s like he shut his emotions off.”

“He had a reason…” They’d never, to his knowledge, been told the entire story. So he laid it out. Mom. The fire. The long years John put into training his sons to be paramilitary monster hunters. The entire kit and caboodle.

When he was done, he was clinging to Nick and much as Nick clung to him. Martha crossed the room and sat on the arm of the chair, holding both boys.

“I’m so sorry, Sam,” Martha said. “We didn’t know about how your mother died.”

“No wonder John went around the bend,” Jonathan said. “When we met, he was so… happy. About to marry your mom, getting a car, putting a down payment on the house in Lawrence. On top of the world. Four and a half years later Mary died, and John vanished with you and Dean. At least I learned some of the truth when he asked me to confirm some rumors running around Metropolis. If something happened to Martha…”

Jonathan rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head. “Never, Jonathan, never,” Martha assured him. “You won’t lose me.”

Sam knew it to be an empty set of words. People lied to each other all the time about stuff like this because the knowledge that terrible, horrid things _were_ out therewas too much to think about for most people. Nick squeezed Sam’s arm.

Nick understood it. Nick had seen awful shit and knew how to deal, and with Clark as a brother, he was seeing worse than human behavior, too.

Clark was seeing worse than human for the first time. He probably hadn’t quite grasped the idea of human evil yet. Martha and Jonathan knew the petty evils done by Lionel Luthor. Of course, Luthor was careful to make sure evidence of real evil was wiped out or buried. Men like Lionel were another reason for Sam to want to be a lawyer.

Lex Luthor was Clark and Nick’s friend, and Sam could never help but wonder that Lex’s angle was.

“Dad has been hunting the thing that killed Mom for my entire life. He insists it wasn’t a haunting, or a creature, or a human. After everything I’ve seen, I have to say that he’s right. It’s… a force of nature, and I can’t wrap my head around it.” He pressed his forehead to the top of Nick’s head. “I don’t know if I ever will. I want to get _away_ before…”

“Before there’s no getting away at all,” Nicky finished Sam’s sentence. “Before the fever takes you the way it took Dean. Before John can finish brainwashing you, before you make a life that’s yours.”

“What are you, Buddha reborn?” Sam half-laughed, half-sobbed.

“No. Just a guy with a past who’s also getting on with life.”

“Sam,” Jonathan said, “your dad has signed the papers _this time_ , but he’ll have to do it again, and I don’t know if he’ll be content with letting you continue your education until you’re 21. I can make myself your guardian till you’re of age.”

“That’s a great idea, Dad!” Clark grinned. “We _are_ in Kansas, where Sam was born. John’s almost never here, it wouldn’t be hard for you claim he’s an absentee dad.”

“I… Jonathan, I don’t know to thank you!” Sam beamed, feeling a lot lighter in spirit.

“Be the best person you can be, that’s all anyone can ask.” Jonathan smiled.

XXX

_Four years later…_

Clark listened to the babbling on the phone with a confused expression. It was Sam, but he was the next thing to incoherent.

“Sam, slow down, I don’t understand…”

“Sam?” Seventeen year old Nick appeared at Clark’s elbow and snatched the phone away.

Clark sighed and let him do it. Sam was the only constant besides himself and Mom that Nicky had anymore. Since Dad’s death, he’d reverted into a kind of recluse again, the way he’d been when he first arrived at the Kent home at nine years old.

“Sam, just a little slower…” Nicky’s face turned white as linen. “Jessica? What about Jess? Oh… oh my god, _Sam…_ ”

Nicky fell to his knees, swaying. Clark knelt and held his brother upright.

 _“The thing that killed Mom got Jess,”_ Clark could hear the call clearly now. _“It… it held her on the ceiling… and slit her stomach… and she burned…”_

“Sam, come home, please?” Nick begged. “Come back to Smallville.”

“ _I can’t, Nicky, I have to find Dad. I… I’d love to see you guys, but I have to know what he knows.”_ He sounded so defeated and lost.

Nick’s eyes welled up with tears. “We loved Jess too, Sammy, please don’t disappear…”

_“I’m sorry. Love you, and Clark and Martha…”_

The call ended, and Nicky fell into Clark’s arms. As he held his weeping little brother, Clark wondered if any of them would ever see Sam again.


	2. Chapter 2

What I’ve Done

_Now… (Whenever you perceive “now” to be…)_

“Don’t you dare dent my door ‘cause you’re a chicken, Clark!”

Clark forced himself to relax his grip on the door of the ’73 Buick Skylark. “Slow down, Nicky! You’re too young to die!”

Nick gave him the gimlet eye and flicked the radio on. The newest Linkin Park song blared forth from the speakers like a howling of Hell’s hosts. As was usual lately, Nick ignored Clark and drove fast simply because he wanted to, not because they were in a hurry to get back to the farm.

Although Clark had to admit that his younger brother was a crack driver, a wizard behind the wheel. Nick drove as though the car was an extension of his body.

They were on the way home from Metropolis for the summer, but this summer was different. Dad was gone, Mom was in Washington. They were going to be on their own for the first time.

“So when the hell are you gonna give up and ask Oliver Queen to move in?” Nick asked, lowering the radio volume. “I know damn well you’ve been hooked up since October. Quit wasting time, brother!”

Clark was blushing. Nicky was barely eighteen, how could he talk about things so cavalierly? His little brother was a whole lot more world-wise than Clark wanted to admit. “I’ll invite him myself if you can’t get off your ass, Clark. I finally got Lana to show you her true face, and you found Ollie, who is fucking _awesome_ and makes you happy, now make sure he doesn’t get away!”

“You’ve never had so much as _one_ boyfriend, Nick, how are you so wise about all this?”

“Just call me an old soul.” Nick pulled the parking brake and hit the floor brake, sending the car into a very tight right hand turn, releasing the brake and pouring on the gas when the turn was done.

A minute or two later Nick slowed just enough to make entry to the barnyard neat and clean, parked the car by the barn and turned it off, hopping out. Once again, Clark had to force himself let go of panicked handholds. No dents. Great.

Nick was up in his room by the time Clark got into the house with their bags. One of Nick’s rules: nothing went to the dorm that couldn’t be carried in the Buick’s trunk. It held down what they took along significantly, although the thing was deep enough to hide at least two bodies with enough room to pack up a kitchen left over.

Clark set the stuff down and contemplated prying Nick out of the attic. No, it was obvious when the kid wanted to be alone. Dad’s death had dealt all of them a terrible blow, but after Sam and Dean Winchester disappeared into the Wide Open Nowhere, Nick hardly ever talked to anybody anymore. Losing his best friend was the worst thing ever. Clark wondered if Nick would ever regain his _joy de vivre_. Maybe it wasn’t impossible.

XXX

Nick knew he should be downstairs helping, but he just wanted to be alone. It was impossible to be alone in a dorm; there was _always_ something going on, even in the middle of the night. This room was his sanctuary… or his hiding place.

Nick huffed and climbed out the window and down the ladders he’d nailed up so he could enter and leave the house without disturbing anyone when he couldn’t sleep. Martha had only approved after procuring his promise that he wouldn’t leave the farm’s land.

He strode out to the fence and leaned against it. The animals were sold off now, but the farm stewards had planted the wheat and corn crops and the season was looking good so far. Nick inhaled through his nose and out his mouth, finding the smell of growing things soothing, even heartening.

For the first time in a long time, Nick felt things inside himself unwind and loosen up that had twisted up tight when Sam said goodbye. _It’s going to be ok. Someday…_ He wasn’t going to pack hopes into one thought.

A surge of anger blew through Nick’s heart. He usually couldn’t help it, _one_ stab of fury always got out. _Damn it, Sam, why did you leave? Why couldn’t you let us help! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?_

Nick inhaled harder, exhaling the anger… but it wouldn’t cool this time. A stab of pain lanced through his head, pulsing like a heartbeat…

_Oh no, no please…_

Nick stumbled back from the fence, away from the equipment, clutching his head. It was no use. He was heating up, his blood blazing…

_Fire!_

XXX

Clark heard a scream outside, and shut off the stove, taking off at super speed. He stopped dead when he saw a pillar of fire at least a hundred feet tall and twenty feet wide loomed over him, and at its center…

 _“Nick!”_ Clark went to super-speed again, snatching his brother out of harm’s way. The pillar vanished abruptly. He looked into his brother’s face, frightened.

Nick wasn’t burned. His clothing wasn’t burned. His punk-chopped hair wasn’t burned. He was breathing like a marathon runner, eyes terrified. And for the first time in a very long time, Nicky clung to Clark like a limpet, needing his presence.

“Hush now, little brother, it’s going to be fine, just breathe. Remember your breathing when you had those panic attacks when you arrived here? Do it now, you know how it goes…”

It wasn’t too long before Nick was back to good, although still somewhat in shock. “I never wanted a meteor power, Clark…”

“I know, kiddo, I know.” Clark took a deep breath for resolve and pulled out his cell, looking through contacts. Sam’s old phone wasn’t in service, but maybe… There. He thumbed the button to dial.

_“This is _John_ Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency, call my son Dean. 785-555-0179. He can help.”_

Clark rolled his eyes. That was John for you, he could never be reached. He dialed the given number, praying it hadn’t changed.

_“Hullo?”_

“Dean?”

“ _Yeah. Who’s this?”_

“Um. Clark. Clark Kent. From Smallville?”

“ _Hey! You know, I was thinking about you guys the other day, wondering what’s been going on with you.”_

“Do you know where Sam is?” Clark watched his brother doze on the couch. “You know the weird that happens around Smallville? I think the weird has hit Nicky. I just rescued him from the middle of a blazing circle of fire and he’s not hurt…”

“ _Well of course I know where Sam is, he’s sittin’ here in the front seat of the Impala with me.”_

Clark pinched the skin above the bridge of his nose. Neither one of them had thought of trying to contact _Dean._ And it was so obvious! “Look, could you guys detour here? I think Nicky really, really needs his best friend right now.”

_“No problem. We can be there by morning. Hang in there, you hear?”_

“I hear. And thanks.”

Clark set the cell aside, relieved and nervous at the same time. Relieved to have some back-up from the brothers. Nervously wondering what Nick would _do_ when he saw Sam.

He called Oliver and asked him to come to the farm. He needed someone who was firmly on _his_ side.

XXX

“Wait… this is Smallvile.” Sam said when he opened his eyes to morning and they were still moving, though slowly. “Dean, why didn’t you tell…?”

“You would have pussied out, Sammich.” Sam hated it when Dean sounded like he knew everything he was talking about. “You _ditched_ Nick and Clark to come traveling with me, that wasn’t right. I should have dragged you back here when you told me what you did!”

“Why do you care?” Sam demanded, “It’s not you ever cared about coming back!”

“You know I was bored here half the time, but you took to this place and the Kents like a duck to water. You let Jonathan Kent have your legal guardianship. Sometimes I think you would have lived here if Dad had let you. I _did_ tell you to ditch your college friends, they never would have understood everything. The Kents already know everything and maybe they can help a little. Besides, you and the nerd-kid are best buddies!”

“I didn’t want him to be involved, or Martha, or Clark!”

“Well, we’re back ‘cause the kid has suddenly come down with a case of ‘weird’, you know how Smallville can mess people up. Even if we can’t do a damn thing, we owe them some support! Dad would think so too!”

Sam was brought up short, because he knew Dean was right. Dad had managed to alienate every friend he ever had, _except_ the Kents. Knowing the levels of forgiveness the family could rise to, John hadn’t tried. _They were my family when I needed them. I still need them, to tell the truth._

Dad’s death was still so new, but he was already used to John Winchester being far away. Dean was devastated, of course, but he was learning to live with it.

“Leaving them behind is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Then we’ll make up for it.”

Sam liked the “we” part.

Sunrise was in progress when they pulled up to the farm house’s porch. It had changed a little bit, but for all intents and purposes the place hadn’t changed a bit. Same house, same barn, same machines, same crops. The cows were gone, but that was no loss.

They were exiting the car when a familiar blur rushed from the house. Then Nicky was there, staring up at him, and he’d changed. Nicky was every inch the punk rocker now, including some piercings: eyebrow and nose. His jeans were scribbled with colorful marker, but in math instead of art. His shirt depicted a pop art Einstein and his feet were bare.

“Sam?” Nick whispered. “Is that really you? Am I dreaming?” He reached out to touch Sam’s lower chest.

“Yeah, I’m here, N - _ooooof!”_

Sam’s air left his lungs when Nick gave him a picture-perfect side-kick in the solar plexus, followed up with two sharp-knuckled rabbit punches to his left kidney, finished by striking his feet out from under him.

Sam lay on his back with Nick kneeling on his chest. The kid was still short and skinny, maybe 5’6’’ and 110 pounds, but he knew how to hit!

_“Should I be grateful that your royal highness is here? You LEFT, Sam! I understand why you were upset, I met her, remember? She was so awesome and didn’t deserve to die that way, but… YOU LEFT ME! YOU LEFT!”_

Nicky was shrieking, in a towering rage and looked about ready to commit murder. Of course, he had every reason to be doing so and Sam knew he deserved it.

Then Clark was there and lifting Nick away. “Nick! Calm down, you don’t want to _kill_ him, do you?”

Kill? Sam stood up, glared at his snickering brother and asked. “Kill? What’s going on?”

“He’s a Fire-starter, Sam, so… hang back for a few minutes…” Clack carried Nick into the house. A moment later a sandy-haired man with brown eyes exited the house.

“You must be the Winchesters, Clark has told me about you. Pretty much everything, so don’t worry about editing what you say.” The young man shook hands with Dean and Sam, smiling with charm. “I’m Clark’s boyfriend, Oliver Queen.”

“Whoa!” Dean exclaimed. “The businessman?”

Oliver nodded affably. “Don’t even think about calling me ‘Mister Queen.’ That was the rotten brat who went to private school. To Clark’s friends and family, I’m Ollie or Oliver.”

“Nice t’meet ya!” Dean grinned. “Anyone who makes Clark happy is good in our books.”

Sam rubbed his sore chest and stayed silent. He knew he deserved every bruise but damn! Nick packed a heavy punch! Or rather, kick. “Fire-starter?” he asked softly.

“Smallville can do weird things to people with no pattern at all,” Oliver said. “Old, young, male, female, all lifestyles and colors and creeds. Never too many at once, but still… The last person who ever wanted to be touched by the Weird is Nicky. A fire-starter isn’t a rare thing, not compared to… let me think… Clark and Nick’s first year of high school a meteor mutated guy turned into some sort of human/insect hybrid. There was the literal ‘ice man’. One of them could bend probability to his liking. Lana Lang turned out to be a re-incarnated witch and she lost her mind when she lost the part of herself that was re-incarnated… If you think it _could_ happen, it might just _happen_ in Smallville.

“And, just so there won’t be too much more speech editing, I’m also the Green Arrow.” Ollie said it like he was reciting a shopping list.

 _That_ revelation kept them all talking until Clark said it was okay to come into the house. Inside felt very different with Jonathan gone and Martha away; it was like some of the warmth was gone. Nothing could stay the same forever, Sam knew, but he mourned the losses just the same.

Nicky was in the living room, blinking slowly, wrapped in a blanket. His pupils were slow in reaction to the light, which meant he was drugged. Maybe with some of those pills he used to take when he had night-terrors. Only the prescription was obviously new. Nick was having terrors and nightmares again?

 _They must have come back after I called to say to say goodbye._ Guilt stabbed Sam with familiar knives. _This is my fault._

So, Clark explained what had been going on since Sam went incognito. It only confirmed what Sam was afraid of. “Nicky, this is my fault, I’m so…”

“Get over yourself, Sam.” Nick said irritably, with a bit of a slur. “Yeah, you just takin’ off, it woke up some of the night terrors and nightmares again, cause, y’know, you’ve been my best friend so long, and I’ve been terrified of somethin’ happenin’ to you, or Dean, or both, but don’t even think of blamin’ yourself for my mutation. That’s just… _arrogant._ ”

“Well, he told you, Sam.” Dean snickered.

“Dean Winchester, you shut up.” Nick grunted, his eyes gliding in and out of focus. “You snobby l’il toerag. Too good for Smallville… or thought you were…”

Nick looked like he was nodding off. “Sorry,” said Clark. “He doesn’t take Xanax often, it can have addictive qualities. He’s allergic to the general meds for night terrors.”

“Don’t… like it. Slow. Not al-a-alert, hate…”

“We get it, kiddo.” Dean said. “I don’t much like being out of it either, but you know you’re safe here.”

“Not from… myself…” Nicky sighed. His eyes closed and he fell asleep.

“Sam, I just thought he might feel better if you were here. He’s not showing it, but he’s terrified.” Clark explained.

“Huh?” Sam said intelligently. Not. “Scared? _Nicky?_ Um, _so_ does not compute, he’s always had a solid brass pair.”

“He’s never _shown_ how afraid he is of meteor infection. He’s helped me take down more than one bad guy. He has _never_ shown anyone fear, except for what we see when we have to ease him out of his terrors. You’ve never seen him that way.

“Remember, Sam, how he lived till we adopted him.” Clark smoothed Nick’s hair.

Sam recited the old rules of Nick’s life. “Always look out for number one. No one will help you except you. Work hard and _earn_ what you’ve got, then fight like hell to keep it. There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch. And don’t care about anyone because they won’t care about you.”

“What a ray of sunshine,” Dean said quietly.

“Sunshine, lollypops and pink lemonade.” Oliver nodded ruefully.

“So now you guys see what we’re dealing with. Turbulent emotion is _not_ something good for a fire-starter. We need you, guys. Keeping Nicky balanced is the most important thing in the world at the moment. I know what I saw…” Clark rubbed his eyes unhappily. “And what I saw him do was _accidental._ If he actually blows his top in a bad way… He’s a WMD waiting to happen.”

Dean and Sam looked at each other and the almost-telepathic communication took less than ten seconds. “We’re in,” they said together, like a pair of twins. That was so uncanny.

XXX

Just because Sam was there, that didn’t mean Nick was going to make things _easy_ for him. While he did feel absolutely safe and watched over when Sam was close, Nick’s feelings remained hurt.

 _I told him. I_ told _him, years ago, how I feel about him._ Nick was sitting in on the porch, soaking up the sun while Sam read a book. _No, I wouldn’t have expected him to stop loving Jessica all at once. That’s impossible, and illogical._

“Did you think you were _saving_ me when you took off?” Nick asked, _so_ annoyed.

“Ahem… Well…” Sam hemmed and hawed.

“That’s a yes.” He shook his head. “I still have moments that I want to beat the hell out of you for that! No, I couldn’t have gone with you, I was still underage, but you didn’t have to stop coming here! Losing Dad was awful, but losing you too! I was… _devastated!_ And you missed our high school graduation, and my eighteenth birthday!”

“No…” Sam coughed. “We were here on graduation day. We were parked behind the bleachers, on the street. Did you honestly think we’d miss it? We were thinking about stopping for a few days, but we got an important call…”

Nicky was silent. Sam _had_ watched him graduate? An invisible weight lifted. He cleared his throat and sniffed. “I… I’m glad you were there.”

“I… I just wanted you to be safe, Nicky, safe from what killed Jessica and Mom. I couldn’t bring myself to call you, I didn’t want to risk you!”

Nick squeaked when he was grabbed up in protective hug. “I couldn’t lose you, too,” Sam whispered in his ear. “I’ll make up for missing your birthday, I promise. I’ll make up for everything.”

 _Damn it. I never_ have _been able to stay angry at him for long…_

“You swear to me, from now on, you won’t shut me out or leave me in the dark. You and Dean can consider the farm to be a stationary home base. One you’ll return to often.” He wriggled his arms free and hugged Sam back. “Oh, Sammy…”

Inside the house, Clark passed Dean five dollars. “I thought he’d stay mad at least a day.”

Dean chuckled. “I _knew_ they’d be hugging soon. They’re just too touchy-feely.”

Clark turned away, but Dean showed no signs of moving. _Might as well let Dean know what I am so he’ll be caught up._ He blithely snatched Dean up by the back of his shirt and carried him away.

XXX

That night, Sam tried to sleep, but dreamland eluded him. He stared at the dark, thinking.

 _“You, and all the children like you…” What the_ hell _did Yellow Eyes mean by that? Mom and Jess… Dad… How many others? How many other lives has he destroyed? All I want is to be normal. I want a normal life. I don’t think I’ll ever have one._

A shadow passed through the room, and a fine-fingered hand touched Sam’s face.

“You’re thinking too loud, Sammy. C’mon, make room.”

Sam moved over and lifted the blankets, and Nicky slipped into bed with him. “Heh. Just like old times, huh?” Sam murmured, spooning himself around Nick. They’d slept in the same bed many times, mostly when nightmares acted up.

“Yeah. God, I’ve missed this.” Nick took Sam’s arm and pulled it over himself like a blanket. “You’re a good blanket, Sammy.”

“You make a good teddy bear, Nicky.”

“Go to sleep.”

“OK.”

It was mid-morning when Sam woke again, drowsily hugging Jess…

He got a lot more awake and corrected his thinking. Not Jess, Nicky. _I’d never forgive myself if I called him the wrong name._

Sam curled a little tighter around the warm body in his arms. It was so nice, lying there with Nick and not-thinking. His mind was still, perfectly calm.

“Mmmmmm…” Nick stirred, and wriggled before settling again.

“Oh Lord.” Sam muttered to himself. Nicky’s ass had rubbed his crotch and he reacted in the typical fashion. He tried to will it away, but it didn’t cooperate.

“Is that a gun in your shorts, or are you happy to see me?”

Sam jumped at the sound of Nick’s voice, and laughed in embarrassment. “Happy… _really_ happy to see you.”

“Good, because my ass is saying ‘hello’.” Nicky stretched and pressed his butt back where it was before firmly.

Sam groaned, wrapping himself around Nick tighter. “Stop _doing_ that!”

“Sammy…” Nick rolled onto his other side, solemnly looking him in the eyes. “ _How_ long ago did I tell you? When I was 12, I said ‘if I were older’, et cetera. I’m older _now_ , and what I feel hasn’t changed.”

Sam felt a blooming warmth in his chest as he smiled slowly. “Did you _wait_ for me?”

“More or less. Every boy I met couldn’t measure up to you. Not in looks _or_ brains. Maybe I might have found someone, but I seriously doubt it. Sammy… I’ve loved you for most of my life.”

“Nicky… I’m no good, I’m cursed, our whole family is cursed…”

Nick wrapped both hands in Sam’s hair and tugged. “Don’t say that, Sam, _don’t you ever say that again!_ You’re _not_ cursed, there’s nothing wrong with you! Even if there was, I _don’t care!_ I don’t!”

The intensity of Nick’s sincerity erased Sam’s arguments. He sat up on one elbow, draping his other arm around Nick’s body. “You _don’t_ care, do you?”

“God blind me if I’m lying. Kiss me, you idiot!”

Sam claimed Nicky’s mouth, moaning the moment their lips touched. Soft and warm and electric, that kiss sealed his fate. Slowly but steadily, the kiss deepened, lips parted and tongues twined; Sam could do nothing except _feel,_ no thinking was involved.

Not that they _did_ anything except kiss. Despite words of bravado, neither of them were ready for a deeper relationship, not yet.

The foundations were set for it.

XXX

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you've enjoyed the chapter! Nope, no clichéd "let's fuck right now!" stuff for Sam and Nicky. They've just gotten their friendship back; Nicky's confession was only logical. He HAS loved Sam for a long time, he wouldn't let his Winchester get away without telling him, the same way he didn't allow it before Sam went to college. And no way in hell is Nicky going to let Sam go Bitch, either. He has little patience with angst. 
> 
> If anyone has suggestions/likes and dislikes on the story, tell me! I like input.

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been around for a while in one form or another. I'm hoping to finish this time.
> 
> As the tags say, this story won't follow timelines a lot. I'll be writing this to revise some things I hate about both both shows, although Supernatural is my favorite.
> 
> This chapter is kind of a preface. Hope you enjoy.


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